corrinesbell | Appointments 2.0

I didn't even mean to see him! [She snapped, but not at Sheena. She was just so angry right now that she couldn't contain it.] I was trying to help, and then he shows up. And he has the nerve to find someone new? Apparently I'm just a meaningless nobody.

[She lets out a very small sigh.]

Okay, first of all, you're not a meaningless nobody. Maybe Sokka doesn't like you anymore, but with the way he's treating people, why would you want him to? And second... [The real second is that they broke up and he is free to see other people.]

Second is that right after this happened to you guys, I saw him and he was really and for sure upset about it. About breaking up. I dunno what happened since then but I know it was bothering him that day.

[She looked at Sheena, tears in her eyes. It was so difficult to suppress them now.]

I don't know. I tell myself to get over him, but I can't. I can't when I know we're together at home, where we're happy. How can I just stop loving him? Stop loving the guy I care so much about? And yet I hate him so much.

Getting over somebody you really care about isn't as easy as just telling yourself. It's like...like your whole world doesn't fit together anymore.

[She looks right back at Suki. How the heck was she supposed to explain that she hated him because she liked him so much? That didn't even make sense to her, and she was the one coming up with it.]

Crying about it isn't stupid.

I wish it was. I wish I could just forget all about my feelings for him and just forget about him in the process.

Good. [She curled back up, chin resting against her knees.] Cause that's all I want to do right now.

[She didn't want to hide it anymore. She didn't want to act like everything was ok to make sure people didn't worry about her. Things weren't ok, and she was losing hope that they'd ever be ok again.]

Go ahead. [Sheena puts her arm back around Suki's shoulders, turning it into a hug again.] I won't tell anybody.

[Suki leaned against Sheena and just cried. She didn't care about how weak it made her look. All she cared about we just feeling better, but that seemed like an impossible thing right now.]

I hate this place.

Me too.

[She doesn't hate it with the fervor she once did, but watching it tear someone else apart is just about as painful as being wrecked herself.]

You've got a lotta other people here who want to help you be happy, though, y'know? Even if it takes a while.

I don't know if that's possible. I never feel happy here...

It's really hard to. But not even a little bit?

Whenever I try, something always comes and crushes that. It's like this place doesn't want me to be happy.

I hate to say it, but you're probably right about that one, mostly. It doesn't want anybody to be happy. And sometimes it takes a long time to find out how to be happy anyway.

[Sometimes you spend weeks just plain not happy.]

But...that's what we're here for. The people that actually care about you, even when other people are being idiot jerks.

I hate that I'm making people worry about me though. I don't want them to be thinking about me when there are more important things going on.

That's just it. You are the important things going on. People worry because you're important.

I don't feel like I am right now.

And when that happens, that's when we've gotta tell you about it. [Which is why Sheena is telling her. It's a nice neat circular belief, here.] It's okay that you're unhappy and upset and really, really mad about all of it and it'd be worse if you weren't after everything that happened and what he said to you. But it's not okay to hide it because you think...I dunno, that your friends aren't gonna wanna deal with you or won't care enough or something.

[That was something of a verbal flood but it is, at last, a subject in which she has years of experience.]

It's not just that though. I... I don't want to say anything bad about Sokka. I don't want it to seem like I'm turning people against him. Yeah, he's an asshole, but if I warn people, they'll only think I'm being a bitchy ex-girlfriend.

But he's treating you badly, Suki. You're not just making stuff up because you're mad.

I'm scared it's only me that sees it.

Anybody that knows him and has talked to him recently is gonna see it. The people you used to live with - don't you think it's affect them too, with him acting like a total idiot? Maybe they know something more about it.

Maybe...

I'm just not sure I can face them yet. Aang wanted Sokka and I to be friends again, but I don't know.

Did he think it was just gonna happen overnight, or something? [She sounds incredulous - at Aang, not at Suki.] You've got time and you've gotta take it. You don't have to "face" them, because it's not like you did some kinda terrible thing to face them with.

They'll get it. Pretty sure they want you to be happy even if it means you take a break.

I don't know. But now I know I want nothing to do with Sokka... ever. I'm done. I'm done with all of this. Done with giving him chances. Done with trying to make things work. Just done.

Okay. [That works for her. Maybe Suki won't be as stressed and angry and upset, then.] But only if you also promise you'll try not to go around being mad about him even though he's not here. There's better stuff to think about all day.

Spirits. I hope you're right.

I don't know how well I'm going to do though.

April 16th - action;

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