corrinesbell | 25. Expectations

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25. Expectations

I hope everyone's doing okay. If this is like all the other 'experiments,' we should be out of danger soon. ...As out of danger as we ever are, anyway. It's a little worrying that the hunter hasn't shown ~~him~~ itself much lately...but I guess we should probably be thankful for that, huh?

Caesar? Lute? You guys doing okay? How about you, Al? I haven't seen you in a while.

...I...I didn't know it'd be this bad. Maybe I never considered anyone actually dying on our journey, either. ...Even though some of us came pretty close sometimes. Really close. But seeing...with Colette gone, and seeing...them, this way... And it doesn't help that I'm next to useless because of the Malnosso, either.

...That's a lie, isn't it? It isn't because of them, not entirely. It's got to be partially my fault, too. ...Damn it, I thought I was supposed to be able to face this! Didn't I learn that already? That there's no point in constantly being scared of the past? But it's not making any difference...

Like I said, anytime you're...not occupied, and once it's safe to go outside again, I'll gladly...talk about it. If you still think it'd be useful, anyway.

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Sheena... None of this was your fault.

My fault for not being...prepared enough. For not being able to deal with all of this better. ~~For being captured again and too injured to be of any real use.~~

Death is... very hard to deal with. ~~When seeing it and--~~

It was a very unexpected turn of events, but... in the future, we will be better prepared.

I don't want this to keep happening.

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I know how you feel, Sheena... I hate bein' helpless, an' so far that's just about all I've been since I've been here. In fact, seems like you're the only one who understands wantin' to blame yourself for it... only thing is, it gets you nowhere.

As for bein' scared of the past... heh. I'm not the best person to talk to 'bout that.

I know blaming myself gets me nowhere. I've been over that, too many times. ...Problem is, it still happens.

For the record, I don't consider you helpless. ...You're kinda part of the reason I'm alive, you know?

Heh! So you do understand! Dunno why I'm surprised, really... maybe 'cause everyone else doesn't?

Oh, that? Heh... well, all I could really do is yell at you, so...

Sometimes, I probably deserve to be yelled at. ...Actually, yeah, I know I do.

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Even if he disappears soon, there's nothing to say he can't turn up again...

...We'll be better prepared if it happens again.

...Yeah.

...You okay? ...Uh, sorry, that was a stupid question, wasn't it?

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corrinesbell - 2008-01-30 04:34 (UTC) - Expand

It's good that you see that's a lie, you know.

...It's good that I know it's my fault and not theirs?

If you want to view it that way. The important part is that you accept that such failures are not entirely the fault of the tones committing the action.

...
Yeah.

[[ooc: You know how she feels about being deemed a failure...]]

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I'm doing much better now, Sheena. Thank you, and my apologies for the other day. I ... don't know what got into me, though Aya said it was probably the pain medicine.

You don't have to apologize. I'm just glad you're okay.

You...have? How?

Let's just say that a shinobi has consented to lend me his aid in a most surprisingly convenient fashion.

I ... don't trust these books.

...A what?
There's...
Oh. ...Oh, right. Yeah, okay. ...I guess by the time I could come ask you in person, the problem would be gone anyway.

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corrinesbell - 2008-01-30 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

You aren't useless, Sheena.

...
~~In most of the ways that matter...~~
...Thanks, Kamui.

At this point, any information or insights would be useful. It's hard to deduce anything about our enemies or their objectives without conferring on similar circumstances.

When things are calmer ... yes, I would like to hear what you have to say.

Okay. ...If I had anything to offer on this current situation, I would. If it's anything like the others, though, it'll end soon.

Not soon enough, unfortunately. I've been hearing that those killed by the hunter have disappeared from the village. It's a little unsettling.

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