108. Plain

[corrinesbell]

That wasn't me.

I dunno what that was but I promise it wasn't me. I'm really sorry if I said something terrible to any of you.

...Especially you, Colette.

Shirley, I think...can I talk to you?

[And there are some apologies that only work in person. Which is why later in the day she'll be going to house 42 and knocking hesitantly on the door]

Comments

[action]

[wise_maiden]

If people forgive you... you can come to terms with forgiving yourself.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

Hopefully that won't be too big of a problem.

...You're kinda doing it again, though. What's up?

[action]

[wise_maiden]

[She has that look. The not-quite looking at Sheena, not-quite looking down at her teacup, somewhere off to the side and a thousand miles away.]

... Sorry, I was thinking of something else. But I'm sure you'll be able to... come to terms with everything soon enough. This isn't something anyone would be willing to hold over you. They -- shouldn't.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

Raine, I'm fine. I'm starting to think maybe you're not okay with...something. Whatever you remember.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

You're the one who came here and could barely stammer an apology to begin with... it's not too much of a stretch to think that you'd continue to be hard on yourself.

I'm -- fine, really.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

I didn't even think you were gonna talk to me. [Things got steadily better after she accepted that apology]

Okay then. I'm just as 'fine' as you are.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

You really thought that...?

[action]

[corrinesbell]

Why would I make that up?

[And she's just plain bad at apologies sometimes.]

[action]

[wise_maiden]

... I see. [She falls silent, looking down at her tea.]

[action]

[corrinesbell]

[Silent also, but probably for a different reason. She lets go of the tea to fold her hands on the table.]

[action]

[wise_maiden]

[Raine supposed that she shouldn't be too bothered by it. After all, hadn't she been expecting something similar once she woke up from her coma? Foolishly apologizing for being a burden. Even if it had been true.

In any case, she doesn't really know what to say right now. She's still silent for a few more moments, contemplating the teacup and contents. When she speaks again, her tone is quiet, again very distant.]

... You're right. I'm not really 'fine' with my memories. Mostly because they seem to match up a little too well. It's blurry and disorienting. It would be easier if I had been more different, to set aside that person as someone who wasn't me, and not have to deal with it. Others are dealing with worse, so it's not as if I have room to complain.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

[To tell the truth, Sheena hadn't been expecting Raine to say anything. She stays quiet for a few more minutes, after Raine's done.]

Complaining and trying to get yourself sorted out are different.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

I can deal with it. I just... didn't expect it to be like this.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

What's giving you the biggest problem?

[action]

[wise_maiden]

I'm not certain if it's a... problem exactly. But talking to you ... and having a sense of some things ...

For instance... do you remember for certain, that I had remained at the barracks the entire time I was recovering? That there... was no way in my condition, that I could have... left, for any reason.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

Yeah. ...You were really...it was pretty bad. Right before all this [a vague hand motion, meaning, you know, the last week] started, you, uh, found out that Albert was hurt too and you were sitting with him. But they hadn't let you out.

I guess you could've tried to sneak out or something but I don't think you'd've gotten very far. ...Maybe to the front door.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

During that week, I was convinced that somehow ... I had been able to get out and help. And I had been with you... tracking down the summon spirits. I saw you get attacked by Volt, but there wasn't anything I could do. ... And then when we got back to the barracks, I found out about Albert.

But I know... that it isn't right. Because I remember finding him. I could barely walk. But the recollections are still... overlapping one another.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

I know I told you about the summon spirits, but I'm definitely sure you weren't there to find any of them.

...Especially not Volt. [If Raine had been there then Zelos wouldn't have had to flail around so much.]

If nothing else though, you've got five or six other people who'll tell you that you didn't go anywhere, because they went to visit you too. Or you could ask, uh, Dr. McCoy, I think.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

Yes... that's true. And I know that ... just by your being here and verifying things ... which reality is my true reality. Among other reasons.

Although at the same time... it's difficult to accept that you were the one who's had to bear that burden instead of me.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

[Now that's a strange thing for Raine to say.]

Which burden?

[action]

[wise_maiden]

[She's quiet for a long moment, gaze and tone still distant] ... Being a summoner.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

[Oh. ...What?]

The other you...was a summoner? How did you know? I mean, why would you ever have... Sorry. That's probably not helping.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

I told you, most of my life was the same as I remembered it before. I didn't realize I had the capability for becoming a summoner... because I had forgotten my early childhood while raising Genis in Sylvarant.

But... you knew about me, somehow, even though you didn't say it when we met. You weren't a summoner yourself, but you did know a lot about it.

[action]

[corrinesbell]

...The art of summoning doesn't exist in most of Tethe'alla. The people who do know about it don't...say much.

[action]

[wise_maiden]

... The people of Mizuho are aware of it. Even though their attempts were never truly successful. Until... well, you I suppose. Or me, in a different reality.