corrinesbell | 108. Plain

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108. Plain

That wasn't me.

I dunno what that was but I promise it wasn't me. I'm really sorry if I said something terrible to any of you.

...Especially you, Colette.

Shirley, I think...can I talk to you?

[And there are some apologies that only work in person. Which is why later in the day she'll be going to house 42 and knocking hesitantly on the door]

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[At this point 'you didn't have to get me anything' isn't gonna be worth much.]

Nope. I think I'm good. [Instead of asking 'how long until I can get up' she shifts around so she's laying on the pillow and looking up at the ceiling. ...It makes her feel better to be a little stubborn on purpose]

... All right. Then I'll let you rest. [And find something to occupy her time with in the meanwhile. Some project- it's not as if she doesn't have plenty of those to choose from. Or maybe just reading a book, if she can concentrate.]

Raine?

[because sleep definitely isn't going to take over with this question doing jumping jacks in her skull]

...I know you said you didn't remember it in your other past, but...do you know now...what happened after...?

I... [She should have expected this would come back up. And now that Sheena was all settled, there really was no proper way of avoiding it, was there?]

After the Volt incident, you mean...? In what way?

I mean...what people did. And what happened to you. ...How it was, you know.

I didn't remember it on my own, but... you and Kuchinawa eventually filled me in on the details. Most of the villagers who had accompanied us to the temple were lost.

...Did they...did we...

[No, that question just isn't coming out yet. But maybe the other one. After all, even though it wasn't real, it matters how different things were]

Was Grandpa okay?

I... believe his condition may have been the same, since he recovered from his coma eventually. Tiga was acting in his place when our group first arrived there.

[So it did happen. But instead of spending years blaming herself, that other Sheena - the one that's not real, don't forget that part - would've had a target. Sheena spends long enough in silence that Raine might start to suspect she's fallen asleep.]

Did we hate you?

[Her own voice sounds weary, moving further into that distracted tone] ... I wasn't in the village for very long after it happened. Shortly after Genis was born, my mother took us away from Mizuho. ... And that's when we were sent to Sylvarant.

When we went to summon Undine... you were trying to confirm who I was. By the time everything came out, and after we had traveled for a while... you were beginning to see things with another perspective. Kuchinawa was furious when you didn't stand together with him to take revenge on me.

[It feels like too much to say at once.]

That means he expected me to. [A relief, to know she didn't, in the end. But their friendship was rocky enough to begin with, adding in 'you destroyed my family' to the mix would've been...that Sheena may have been more inclined to kill not only Colette, but Raine too.]

I know it's not real, but I kinda feel like I should be apologizing anyway. ...And I know how real it feels. Did anything weird happen when we went back to the seal?

[Raine's quiet for a few moments, not pleased with how easy it was to call up these memories as if they truly were part of her own.] It was... difficult to go there. I didn't understand why, but ... part of me must have. When we finally made it to the seal, I think I started hallucinating. Then Genis... did something foolish.

[It's blurring again. She's finding it difficult to speak.]

Was he okay?

[Suddenly a whole lot of things make sense.]

[She presses her hands to her temples, closing her eyes.]

... Y-yes, in the long run. He... rested at Altessa's for a little while, until we could get a proper doctor to look at him.

Oh good. I'm glad. [and relieved. If she'd just made Raine relive Genis dying she'd be in the apology spiral all over again]

I guess now I understand why I'd have gotten you out of the clinic.

It was my-- [Her, damn it] responsibility.

Yeah...

...So wait, you, uh...you remember that I took the hit for you, not Zelos?

... yes. Zelos was there, of course, and there wasn't much I could really do with my condition.

[It doesn't really matter, because she would've done it for Raine, too. Or any of them. But it's different if you're finally doing what you should've done in the first place. For Raine to have to watch another friend defend her from-

...Damn. Now the headache's back.]

So I guess he still had to spasm.

... I suppose so. I don't remember... too much of what happened after. Until we got ... back to the barracks. [And saw Albert.]

...I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Albert sooner.

... It couldn't be helped. Though knowing the truth of the situation... that all I really could do was lay around and worry... well. That's not exactly a comfort either.

Did you ever find out what happened to him?

... No, I haven't. I have... an idea, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. And it's not likely that either of them will even want to bring it up again, by this point.

[She makes a sort of 'hmm' sound and then goes quiet. For a long time. Because now she's got the pillow over her face to block out the light.]

108. Plain

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